Johnny Rockstar

Remember choose your own adventure books? Me too; those things were awesome. Sunday morning Kathryn and I played the choose your own adventure book of the 21st century—a choose your own adventure movie. We pretty much made every mistake possible before getting it right, but it was fun. Some of the outcomes seemed kind of arbitrary, and there was definitely more of a “that’s not what I would do” feeling than I ever remember getting when reading a book, but I still think it was pretty damned cool. Plus, I’m always a sucker for zombies. I’d like to see more of these—maybe with a slightly bigger budget and professional actors. Not that these guys didn’t do a good job, it’s great for what it is. If someone like Lions Gate put out a DVD with three or four 20 minute choose your own adventures from various genres, I’d be all over it.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A few minutes ago I stumbled on the American Library Association’s list of the most challenged books of 2007. That of course led to me looking at the most challenged books of the 21st Century 200-2005, and then the 100 most challenged books of the 1990s. Now look, I don’t think a book should ever be banned, for any reason even if it contains the most vile, putrid, hate-filled, bigoted propaganda. That’s what freedom of speech is all about. That said, I can understand why some groups choose to fight against certain books. Do I agree with them? Hell no. I think they are idiots. Can I open my mind enough to look at it through their point of view? Yes. If I was Maya Angelou or the ghost of Mark Twain I would be proud of the fact I was still consistently topping these lists. But come on, who honestly wants to ban Captain Underpants? I’d go on to tell you who I think the type of person is who would do that, but I don’t want to burst a blood vessel.

I tend to have conflicting, paradoxical views on humanity. I think the human race is capable of many good things, but at the same time, sometimes I just plain can’t stand people. I hate our capacity for stupidness. I think ignorance is cancer eating away at society. And I’m afraid because I think somewhere along the way, somebody figured out how to harness the sheer numbers of stupid, ignorant, hate-filled people and the teeming masses of ignorant have become powerful.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

I’m so hungry. After a large and latish lunch yesterday we decided to opt out of dinner and instead had an ice-cream snack. Fast-forward to today’s lunch and all I had was a sandwich. Now I’m finding it hard to think about anything other than what I’m going to make for dinner tonight. Right now I’m thinking full English breakfast—eggs, toast, baked beans, grilled tomatoes, sausage (probably soysage), and potatoes.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Why is it that whenever I have a packing coming from UPS that I need to sign for, it comes in the middle of the day. But when I don’t need to sign for it, the package shows up after I get out of work? Is this one of those little known laws of physics, like how one sock always seems to disappear in the wash or the Nyquist–Shannon sampling theorem.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It looks like the weather has finally cooled off a bit down here. It wasn’t that long ago that we had prolonged weeks of 100+ sweltering, sticky heat. Literally, the only time I spent outside was going to and from work and the grocery store. Now that it’s down to the high 70s and low 80s I can finally get outside, which is perfect timing since the college just put up a new disc golf course.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 02:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I do a lot of my non-grocery shopping online. It’s partly because I live in a small town that doesn’t have the resources to cater to my exotic tastes (and by exotic I mean anything that can’t be found at Wal-Mart, Kroger or the bookstore/movie rental place), partly because I don’t want to support Wal-Mart if I can avoid it and partly because it’s just easier to shop from my couch in my underwear. Most my sans-pants shopping is done on amazon.com

I’ve been passively contemplating the best way to add a little splash of grownupness into my casual weekend wardrobe. Those thoughts in my head, I couldn’t pass up getting three 5-dollar ringers I found on amazon. I like ringers and baseball tees, but I don’t own nearly enough of either. Ringers are nice because they look good alone or underneath unbuttoned collard shirts.

Then, my headphones broke and I had to replace them. And before you say anything, yes, I HAD TO. I can’t concentrate at work sometimes when there are conversations going on in front of and behind me. I bought some off amazon that look like a serious pair of audiophile headphones (not that they are for under 20 bucks). It’s kind of like wearing big-ass middle finger pointed directly at anyone even thinking about striking up a conversation with me. That wasn’t my intention, I was actually a little surprised by their size, but it’s working out pretty well. I’ve written five articles this week already.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Kathryn just cut her finger on a razor blade (she’s fine now). A quick search under my bathroom cabinet found 4x6 gauze pads, pirate-themed skull-shaped band-aids, and bacon shaped band-aids. She opted for the bacon. I think it was a good choice. The real question is, what does it mean when a 28-year-old man only has novelty band-aids in his cabinet. I’ll just assume it means that he’s awesome.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 08:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I had the best haircut last night. Not in terms of style, although it does look pretty good. No, when I say the best haircut I’m talking in terms of the actual haircutting experience. Things started off rocky when I sat down in the chair and was immediately swiveled so I sat face to face with a 10-year-old boy in the chair next to me. Why do stylists insist on forcing you to stare directly at another client? It wouldn’t be so bad if you could at least turn your head, but the best you can do is either close your eyes or look down at the floor. I chose a combination, opting to go with half-closed eyes staring at my shoes.

Here is what made the cut so great--my stylist was unusually rough. The clippers were dull and tugged at my hair, she was super rough with the comb and it scratched at my scalp, and she was even rough when she did that thing where they pinch your hair between two fingers and cut it. I know what your probably thinking, Johnny that sounds awful. Well not to me. I have dandruff, which means my scalp is itchy… a lot. So I absolutely love having my scalp scratched. Sometimes when we’re sitting on the couch watching a movie, Kathryn will scratch my head and it feels fantastic. While most people would have found it to be torture, with all the tugging and pulling and scratching my stylist was doing, I essentially got a nice relaxing scalp massage. Unfortunately, I think she was new, which means she probably hasn’t yet mastered her technique. And, I’m sure she’ll get a few complaints, which will lead to her to adopt a more gentle style before I go in again. That’s a damn shame because that was hands down the absolute best haircut I’ve ever had.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)