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November 19, 2007

High Strung

My body feels like it is so high strung that at any moment I’m going to explode into a million billion pieces of vibrating energy. Let me explain.

Yesterday afternoon I noticed a slight headache. The dull kind—just painful enough that you notice it’s there but not bad enough to prompt you to take an aspirin. Later in the evening it suddenly shifted into high gear and I felt as though somebody had shoved ten red-hot knitting needles through my right eye socket and proceeded to relentlessly wiggle them back and forth. Having given away my last Excedrin to Kathryn earlier in the day, I had no other choice but to go to bed early and hope for the best. Unfortunately the pain kept me awake, so I rummaged through the cabinet under my bathroom sink until I found something that promised to relieve pain, sinus congestion and other cold symptoms. Not ideal, but any port in a storm. I took it. I fell asleep. I woke up early. The pain had been reduced but still lingered. The knitting needles behind my eye were no longer red-hot, but they were still there, wiggling around and causing the occasional wince. Since I was up early, I stopped by the store on my way to work and bought a bottle of Excedrin Migraine and a bottle of orange juice. I immediately took the pills and chugged the orange juice. Then when I got to work, I leisurely drank my morning coffee. Now, the headache is 99 percent gone. But between my coffee and the caffeine laced migraine pills, I am wired. Combine that with the fact that I have a “desk job” and I’m already jazzed about my two-day workweek, and I am one pent up ball of electric energy, bursting at the seams.

November 14, 2007

Turkey Day

I absolutely, positively cannot wait to come home for Thanksgiving. I’m already having trouble sleeping because I’m so excited. Exactly one week from tonight, Kathryn and I will be landing in Michigan and I can finally prove to Sarah and Bryan that I do indeed have a real girlfriend, not some imaginary friend. I’ll also be able to meet Grody, see my family, watch the parade on tv, visit with friends and, perhaps most importantly, stuff myself sick with turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce. When you think about, is there really a better way to say thanks than eating until you are so uncomfortably full that you have to loosen your pants and take a nap? I sure don’t think so. After all, it’s what Squanto did isn’t it? Ah Squanto, that helpful former-slave who taught the pilgrims how to catch eels, cultivate maize and eat until you want to throw up just so you can eat some more. I’m sure he’d be impressed with America’s many fine Competitive Eating Champions. But I digress. I can’t wait to come home for Thanksgiving. Good times will be had. Oh yes, they will.

November 08, 2007

Random food talk

I baked bread this week, and it made my apartment smell like a bakery. Surprising I know. Last week I made a massive pot of chili. For dinner last night I cut two big slabs of fresh homemade bread, put them on a plate and slathered them with chili. Mmm. Good stuff. When I actually take the time to cook, I eat pretty damn well for a bachelor.

This weekend will mark the first pasties of the season, something I’m really looking forward too. I’ve introduced the traditional Yooper food to a number of people down here and everybody loves them. But really, who can resist the combination of pie and meat—two of nature’s most perfect foods. I think Grandma Virginia made the best pasties, but mine are pretty good too, and I look forward to a week of leftovers.

November 01, 2007

I heart meat

A funny thing happened to me last weekend. I was eating two homemade (read: Kathryn made) patty melts for dinner and I found myself thinking wow, this is a lot of meat. I don’t think that’s ever happened before. I’m what you might call, a lover of all things meat. I’ve been known to ingest whole meals consisting of nothing but meat.

But lately something has changed. In the past year or so, I’ve noticed several instances where I went a whole week without eating any meat, workweek that is. This is strange and scary territory for me. What’s next I wonder? No booze, no video games, no scooping road kill up and flinging it through my neighbors open window while shouting, “monkeys love chocolate too!” I shudder to think about how my life will be when that day arrives.