It was a chilly night, just like any late summer night. You happened to be sitting in your favorite reclining chair when all of a sudden you saw the infomercial for the GT Xpress 101. Hardly able to contain yourself, you shot up to dial the number on the screen within the next 20 minutes so that you could also get your hands on a "flavor injector". Once you reached your phone, you dialed that 1-800 number and began ordering away. After you were finished, you remembered the time you impulsively bought another item off of an informercial. You ran to the kitchen, went to the cupboard (the one next to the fridge) and pulled out your "Salad Shooter" and began shooting away. Seeing as you are most comfortable without pants (don't you hate pants?!?), you decide that you needed to drop trau in the middle of the kitchen and continue your salad expadition. Sans pants, you go to grab a balsamic vinaigrette from the ole cold box and begin munching away on this leafy creation. As you reach for the handle, you knock the bowl down off the counter, thusly spilling the salad in the pants gently wrapped around your ankles from the depantsing that took place previously. Being one for a laugh, you decide to re-pant-a-size and leave the salad in your pants, muttering the phrase "Oh great, now I have salad in my pants." Noticing that nobody was around to ACTUALLY hear your comment, you decide to drink a pint of ale and delicately begin eating the salad that was floating around your pants, all the time whispering to yourself the lyrics to "John Kicks Ass".

Your pubes split into two factions: One decided to broaden and become leaf-like and green. The other split amongst itself and reformed into the shapes of chopped salad vegetables.

It's a simple case of Vegitarian's Night at the strip club gone horribly, horribly wrong. Happens all the time.

Ah, the dangers of dating vegans!

Well, you really wanted a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich in your pants, “BLT”. But after chopping up the tomatoes and scattering the romaine leaves down your Dockers, you realized that your bacon was spoiled due to the fact that your refrigerator is just a few degrees too warm. So you said, "Oh great, now I have salad in my pants." But then you reconsidered your disappointment and decided to own it. You had to eat with chopsticks.

Are You All Aware There is an InternATIONAL NO PANTS DAY CELEBRATED ON MAY 5TH EACH YEAR?
http://www.nopantsday.com/

Liked the runner up, the dude almost getting arrested.

You had driven to the mall to pick up some supplies for the weekend, when you ran into a dude who asked you if you wanted to buy his CD. He said his name was "Salad." Yoy thought to yourself: dude's name is Salad? I've totally gotta buy this." So you took it to your car and noticed that on the cd, it had his name listed as "Salad-loc." You were like: "Dude, this is the shiznit! his name's totally Salad-Loc!" You checked out his website, and it turns out he had a show coming up in Memphis the following Saturday. So you and Kathryn went out to see him the next weekend. During the break between sets, you guys were hangin' out with Salad-loc, and some girl came up to him and poured her drink all over his pants and spit in his face. Then the waitress spilled an entire plate of nachos all over his lap... and then a bum stumbled in, looked around, walked over, puked on Salad's pants, and left. He was all like: "Dude, I don't know how I'm gonna go on... I'm covered in puke, nachos and *licks finger* I think margarita." You replied with a hearty: "Dude, this is what I live for..." as you shucked your pants like a prom dress. "...I $%&*#@!hate pants."
He stripped down and suited up (in your pants), and ripped it up onstage. You didn't miss your pants at all. That is, until three days later when you looked down and realized he still had your pants. At which point you said: "Great, now I have Salad in my pants."