Johnny Rockstar

I’m really not liking Windows at the moment. Yesterday I wanted to install one simple little program, but to get it, I had to download something else and to get that something else to work, I had to download a massive Windows update. That stupid update has screwed everything up and now Windows is trying to take over my computer with Microsoft software. It even killed my anti-virus software, forcing me to reinstall it. Now I’m constantly being told to turn on automatic updates and receiving Windows Security Alerts. These so called alerts are just trying to get me to abandon my third party software and use strictly Microsoft programs. A clever ploy Mr. Gates, but you haven’t won yet. Windows is just mad that I’m using different, better, non-Microsoft software. Things are also aesthetically different, which really irks me, and the boot-up time has increased. Oh yeah, I was also forced switch from Firefox to Internet Explorer just to download some of this garbage. I’m this close (picture me holding my fingers just a sliver apart) to jumping ship and learning a new operating system.

One easy point for recognizing the reference in this post’s title.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 03:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I mailed out my taxes last night, which is a new record for me. I only did my 2004 taxes a few months ago. Also a new record for me was the amount of forms I had to fill out this year; I filed for Federal, Michigan and Arkansas. While filing out my Arkansas form I noticed something peculiar. Look at this picture.

Is it me, or do the faces seem a little out of place on something as serious as tax documents? I'd like to see the committee who approved that decision. Does Arkansas really think a frowny face will ease the pain of owing the state hundreds of dollars? If I realized I owed gobs of money, I would think my tax forms were mocking me when I saw the little frowny face. But I don’t owe money. In fact, I’m getting a fair amount back. So damn the frowny face, I’m celebrating with the smiley face.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 09:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

At the risk of jinxing myself, I don’t get spam. I have separate email accounts that I use any time I have to enter an email address for something and I’m the least bit suspicious. So I get less than one piece of spam every week, and that’s total for the three accounts that I regularly use. But lately, I’ve been getting spam messages from the comment section of this site.

Very good site! See now ! Health!
Many thanks for your super site! Anal sex here!
Many thanks for your super site! Pharmacy online cheap!
Very good site! See now! Gifts!
Very good site! Home business ! Many money!
Very good site! Pharmacy online ! Rivotril cheapest!

They idea is that somebody just happened to stumble upon my site, liked it and is asking me to check out their own site. But the messages are obviously not personal and are written by somebody who speaks English as a second language. Every now and then I’m tempted to click on a link, just to see where I end up. But I don’t because I know it’s a bad idea on many, many levels. Instead I just delete it and dream of what could have been if I only would have taken the chance and seen where “Many money!” or “Anal sex here!” would have taken me.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The first thing I do when I get out of the shower every morning is turn on the news. I like to see what’s going on in the world and check the weather forecast before I head to work. When I turned the television on this morning I was surprised, nay, disgusted to see the anchors discussing Tom and Katie’s baby. I know that over the years our culture has eroded traditional news shows to create sort of hybrid of newsworthy and entertainment information, but would somebody please explain to me why I should care about that baby and what it’s named? I watch ABC news, mostly because it’s the only channel I get, so I cruised over the their webpage to see where the story ranked on the internet. A rotating headline/picture showing the top stories sandwich Tom and Katie between two sides of the alleged Duke rape case. Am I the only one who’s annoyed by that?

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Every time I get my hair cut I’m amazed at the amount of grey hair I see falling on the barbershop bib thing covering my lap. Not because there’s a particularly large amount of grey hair, but because any amount of grey is alarming when you’re only 25. Grey hair is something old people have to deal with, and I’m not old. Am I? I don’t feel old, I have all my teeth, nothing on me seems to be sagging and I have yet to start yelling at the damn kids to get off my lawn. So what’s up with my damn hair trying to turn grey?

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 01:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

It's been way to long since I've offered up some points for the leaderboard. Since 5K has another caption contest running, I thought I'd join the fun. For 3 points, what was I talking about today when I said the phrase, "I'm not jonesing for a fix or anything; I've just been staring at _____ for 45 minutes and now I'm _____."?

P.S.
Mom, note the strange but correct punctuation. I never thought I'd do that again.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (22)

I was talking to a teacher friend today about standardized tests and recounted how I used to really like taking them. I’ve never been one to obsess over tests of any kind, but mostly I was just happy because it meant I didn’t have to actually learn anything at school for a few days. I also really enjoyed filling in the little circles or bubbles if you prefer. There was great satisfaction to be had from perfectly filling one in, nothing outside the lines and a perfect monotone shade of pencil grey throughout the whole thing. I even experimented with different ways of filling them in: horizontal strokes, vertical strokes, circular motions and combinations thereof. Getting it gave me the same satisfaction I get from, and I know I’ve mentioned this before, having all the shirts in my closet lined up and facing the same direction. Most of my friends and family know that I’m by no means an obsessively neat or organized person, but there are certain areas of my life that have to be perfect: test circles, my closet, my computer desktop to name a few.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 11:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I really enjoy shining shoes. I find the whole process to be extremely cathartic, though I’m not entirely sure why. It’s just a relaxing experience that when I finish, I can see the results immediately. I also think it’s a bit of a dying art, but that’s a slightly different topic. Of the many things that I want to experience before I die, two that rank extremely high are stopping at a shoe shine stand in an airport and getting a hot towel shave from a barber. Women have manicures, pedicures, facials and on and on. Men have hot towel shaves and shoe shines. When I get married, I plan on having both the morning of the wedding. I suppose the first step toward accomplishing that is to get a steady girlfriend. Until then, I’ll shave myself and shine my own shoes.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 07:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)