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January 31, 2006

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes Word on the street

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Word on the street is johnnyrockstar.net is going to undergo some major changes tonight. Killer coding ninja monkeys (read Bryan) are going to switch my “stuff” around so I can have a little more control over the page. What this means to you is that all the comments will be lost and chances are, the look is going to be totally different for a few days while things get straightened out. So lets all hold our breath and hope for the best.

Keep on keeping on,
The management

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:02 PM | | Comments (2)

January 30, 2006

Good Times I was reading

Good Times

I was reading 5K’s page, which incidentally has another caption contest up, and discovered I missed a trip to Rum Runners. It makes me a little homesick to hear about people having fun in places I used to spend a lot of time at. Though still slightly tainted from a certain incident involving a certain crazy girlfriend, Rum Runners holds some of my favorite bar memories. I spent the evening of my 21st birthday there, drinking beer and leaning against the back wall with Bryan, Sarah and Mark. How sick is this? I remember that I was wearing black man-clogs, a mysterious pair baggy khaki pants I had found in my laundry and a PacMan ringer that the bouncer made me tuck in. That night I found myself on the little stage holding a giant, blue, glow in the dark dildo while the piano players sang “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” I seem to remember sucking candy off of a strange woman’s shirt too? Possibly the best aspect of Rum Runners is that it seems to be THE place for bachelorette parties. Good times. It was also the first bar I was kicked out of, though I maintain it was not my fault as I was plenty sober and definitely not the guy in the group who vomited all over the back stairs. In an unrelated incident, it was also the first place I was threatened to be kicked out off. Again, not my fault; I wasn’t the one who fell off his barstool. Most importantly, Rum Runners was the safe heaven when I wanted a good night out without having to put up with frat boys or sorority girls. It was also the first place I bought a girl a drink. Plus the music. Did I mention the music? It’s hard to beat dueling pianos. Especially when the deaf guy is playing because, come on he’s deaf… and he plays a wicked piano.

P.S. It's also where I learned the Hand Jive and the hand motions to Joker.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 05:59 PM | | Comments (0)

January 29, 2006

What the hell? I woke

What the hell?

I woke up this morning with two strange vertical scratch-like bruises on my forehead, one above each eye. I figured I must have slept on a crease or something. But it’s getting kind of late and they haven’t faded a bit. The one on the left runs the entire length of my forehead and the other, about half that. I have no idea where they came from, and the good news is, I'll have to go to work tomorrow with these strange lines on my head. I wish I worked as a pirate, then I could just wear a bandana all day to cover them up. Plus, pirates are way cool and get to wear pantaloons. Arrrr, it’s driving me nuts. The real good news is Casey should be here tomorrow afternoon, so can make fun of them if they’re still visible. We're going bowling.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 10:09 PM | | Comments (0)

January 26, 2006

Free Time As you can

Free Time

As you can see from the graph, my free time significantly increased after I lost the ability to play video games all night. Admittedly, I have been playing Final Fantasy III on my laptop, but ever since the NES/DVD conversion, I've been looking for another good project. 5K's idea of turning the broken Xbox into a toaster was good, but what I really want to do is turn it into a working NES. In the meantime, while I search for a cheap working NES, I've been constructing a lifesize Paper Mache alien. Like my other projects, I've been documenting the steps with my digital camera and when it's all done, I'll post the pictures. I don't know what to do after I complete the alien though, any suggestions?

In other news, I put up a new cartoon today.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 12:29 PM | | Comments (0)

January 24, 2006

Of music and memories They

Of music and memories

They say that smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. If “they” say it, how can it be wrong? But I’ve always found nothing brings back a vivid memory like listening to music. I could list pages of songs and the memories they bring back. Lady in Red is sure to send me back to the first high school dance I took a girlfriend to. Ironically, she was wearing green. Porno for Pyros’ song Pets will put me on a boat with a friend I no longer know. There were cows in the water. We honked a horn at them. A slew of songs including Come on Eileen and Banditos will take me to Higgins Lake. That’s where I met Kelly from Ohio. That’s where Mark nearly fell out of the attic naked. Somebody left open ranch dressing packets in my car and I have roll the windows down when I drive to pick up a new boat battery.

Laid – I’m in East Lansing at P.T. O’Malley’s, drunk off of 7 and 7’s with Mark. I’m drawing attention to myself because the guitar player refuses to play American Pie this early in the night. Mark has called out Laid and we sit at the bar singing and drinking. The bartender is cute and I’m fairly certain she’s been checking me out. It’s a good night.

Anything by Harry Manx and I’m back at the Kraftbrau, a rustic brewery in my college town. Manx is blending Indian Ragas with Deep Mississippi Blues on the small stage and my back is against the wall. There is dark beer and hardwood floors. It’s cold because the door is always open, but the atmosphere is great and the music wonderful.

Sara, without an H. Her friend Justin introduced me to The Aquabats and a song called Chemical Bomb. Justin was funny, Sara was cute. She gave me her number but I never called. I met her during the final death throws of my relationship with Alisa. We’re in class listening to music as part of a lesson. Justin is standing next to the little CD player while his song is played. Sara, without an H, I walked her to her car the last night I saw her. Chemical Bomb, up-tempo, happy music masking dark and ominous lyrics.

I’m in the car with Jen. She’s driving because I haven’t bothered to learn the town yet. There is snow on the ground but the car is nice and warm. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion is screaming at us through her car stereo. We park but don’t get out yet because Can’t Stop is on and we have to hear that one line. “Throw your hands in the air… And kiss my ass, ‘cause your girlfriend still loves me.” Then we can get out and walk up the dangerous narrow stairs to her apartment.

Bryan is singing Mr. Jones in the basement of Benjo’s house. I’m wearing my PacMan ringer and hoping there were no hidden stains on it about to be revealed by the black light. It’s the last time I will see him or Sarah before they move to California. I know I will miss my sister but at the moment I’m worried people will mistake her for my girlfriend because we’ve sort of paired up; neither of us know many people. There is writing on the basement wall and Christmas lights strung up around the heating ducts. Somebody is smoking a clove cigar.

I’m eating Burger King in my car on the way to Grand Rapids. The Celtic song, Courtin’ in the Kitchen, is playing for the second time but the traffic is heavy and I’m not familiar with the directions. It’s cool outside and the sun is about to go down but I’m almost there. I call Mark for confirmation that I’m headed the right way but we talk until I’m almost at the doorstep. We’re both bored, but things are about to get a whole lot more fun.

If I stop and close my eyes during every one of these songs and many, many more, I can see, hear, smell and feel everything going on around me.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 05:15 PM | | Comments (0)

January 23, 2006

The more you know I

The more you know

I can’t decide which is more awesome, the fact that the radio was playing Herb Alpert’s song The Lonely Bull last night or the fact I knew it was Herb Alpert’s song The Lonely Bull without the DJ having to tell me. Here is some information you probably don’t know. Herb Albert has won five #1 hits, eight Grammy Awards, fifteen Gold albums and fourteen Platinum albums. He has sold something like 72,000,000 records worldwide. At one point he was even outselling the Beatles two to one. In 1966 he was entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for having five albums at one time on Billboard's Top Twenty. He was also a talented expressionist painter and “The Herb Alpert Foundation assists educational, arts, and environmental programs dedicated to the training of young people, helping them discover their own potential and vibrant energy.” Not being one to limit himself to only one or two creative outlets, Alpert also became involved in Broadway theatre. His producing credits include, among others, the Tony Award/Pulitzer Prize winning production of Tony Kushner's "Angels in America." In conclusion I would like to say I envy Jen for have not one but two Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass albums on vinyl, a feat I hope to accomplish at some point in my life.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 12:52 PM | | Comments (0)

January 22, 2006

The perfect plan I was

The perfect plan

I was thinking today… It’s not hard to get a credit card with a $2,000 limit. You don’t even need a job. So let’s say you get one right before Sony puts out the PS3. I don’t know how much the new Playstations will cost but lets say about $500. So you go to four different stores and pre-order one at each place, putting it all on the credit card. As soon as they come out, turn around and sell them all on eBay. With the money you make you can pay off the card plus any interest, cancel it and walk away five or six hundred dollars richer at the very least. If the systems come out around Christmas, I’m willing to bet you could easily turn a couple grand. Because you can always count on hard-core gamers to be idiots when it comes to getting their hands on the latest and greatest, it’s the perfect plan. Too bad I won't do it.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 02:37 PM | | Comments (0)

January 18, 2006

He has the mustache of

He has the mustache of a titan

On my way to work this morning I heard a story on NPR about 20-something males raising money for charity by growing mustaches. Think of it as a sort of walkathon, but instead of getting sponsored for every mile you walk, you get sponsored to endure teasing and ridicule as you grow a patchy mustache. Then, at the end, the group gets together for a best mustache contest that includes a question round, a touching round and even a beer foam retention round. The big deal is that while the 20-something demographic traditionally gives very little to charity, this seems to a huge success. I wish there was a chapter around here; I would grow a sweet handlebar. Unfortunately, I think the name needs a little work, am I the only one who thinks “Mustaches for Kids” sounds slightly pedophilic?

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 09:10 AM | | Comments (0)

January 17, 2006

Bad news all around I

Bad news all around

I just received a middle of the afternoon call from The Captain. It seems that Sippy Cup is having surgery for his Tetralogy. For those of you, like me, who have no idea what that is, Tetralogy is a heart condition that requires surgery. Usually that surgery comes slightly later in life, but after being admitted to the hospital last night things were unexpectedly moved ahead. Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated by the family. Also Bryan’s father had a heart attack while hunting this past weekend and on Wednesday will undergo triple bypass surgery. Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated his family too.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:39 PM | | Comments (0)

January 16, 2006

Weekend This was my second

Weekend

This was my second Xbox free weekend and it proved to be a little more productive that way. Of course anything is more productive than 8 straight hours of video games on Saturday. I did some laundry, cleaned a little, baked a little, paid a few bills and the list goes on. Maybe it wasn’t the exciting party filled weekend of days gone by, but there is something satisfying about knowing my bills will be paid on time. Damn, I'm getting old. I guess it could have been worse, at least I didn’t spend Saturday afternoon at Bed, Bath and Beyond picking out flooring and curtains.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 12:24 PM | | Comments (0)

January 12, 2006

Leaderboard I've been neglecting the

Leaderboard

I've been neglecting the leaderboard lately so here's a change to get somepoints/bragging rights. The following is a set of questions based on random facts about me. One per customer per day, so choose wisely.

1 pt. What did I major in?

2 pts. All time favorite food?

3 pts. What brand is my laptop?

4 pts. Number of Randy Newman songs currently on my winamp playlist?

5 pts. "I fry mine in butter!" That phrase cracks me up every time, where did I hear/see/read it?

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 11:44 AM | | Comments (0)

January 10, 2006

Another day, another dollar Things

Another day, another dollar

Things I’ve done at work today:

Checked the work intranet websites
Folded a hopping origami frog
Edited several versions of a sales report
Ripped three CD’s to my laptop
Researched the affects of anger on coronary disease
Researched the physical structure of the brain
Wrote about the last two items
Cleaned out my inbox
Folded a paper crane
Subscribed to a medical newsletter
Perched paper crane on my computer monitor

What have you been up to?

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 04:21 PM | | Comments (0)

January 09, 2006

Resolution About ten seconds ago

Resolution

About ten seconds ago I settled on a resolution for this year. I was writing something about email and clogged inboxes when a string of thoughts brought my mind around to writing fiction. My resolution is to get serious about at least a couple of the several dozen pieces I'm writing in my spare time. My Xbox broke last Friday and I figure without the distraction of video games I should be able to get more writing done in the evenings and on the weekends. A LOT more.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 02:51 PM | | Comments (0)

January 05, 2006

Fast food fast According to

Fast food fast

According to the counter on the bottom left of my page, it was one year ago today that I last ate fast food. It was Taco Bell. It was delicious. Tomorrow marks a whole year without one bite of fast food. The first question most people ask is what do I consider to be fast food? What they usually want to know is do I count places like Pizza Hut and Subway. The answer is no I don't. If you have to sit down and order the food isn't fast, so that eliminates Pizza Hut. Even though you don't sit down and order I don't count Subway either because I always order off the six grams of fat menu. Turkey breast on wheat with lettuce and tomato is a far cry from the more traditional Whopper or Big Mac. I think this also marks the fist time I've successfully gone a whole year with my New Year's resolution too.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 02:30 PM | | Comments (0)

January 04, 2006

Pondering my style After briefly

Pondering my style

After briefly talking with Casey about writing, I finally admitted to myself that if I ever get a book of short stories published, it would fall right into the avant-garde category. But not because I'm trying to push the envelope or define a new genre or anything like that. I just like to play around and experiment for my own amusement. Take for example this short short (Warning: Full of Dark Sarcastic Humor). You probably haven’t read many other pieces that would occupy the same shelf space as this one. In fact, I there are only a couple of places I could see this going. It could end up being adapted for use in a late night sketch comedy show, which I don’t know if I would like, or it could be hidden away between other odd pieces in a collection of other short and short short stories I've written. It’s just something silly and darkly fun that I created without thinking about it where it belongs. I’m really not big into labels, so why would I care how my stuff is categorized? Because it immediately eliminates a huge portion of potential readers due to the sheer nature of its unconformity. Then again, I’m not in this game for the money and there’s no fan more loyal than a cult fan. Dam the torpedoes and full steam ahead.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 03:23 PM | | Comments (0)

January 03, 2006

Mixin' the hell out of

Mixin' the hell out of my ingredients

Picture this: It’s Friday afternoon and I’m the only one who showed up for work in my department. I’m sitting with my back to my desk, slouched down in my chair with my feet propped up on a small filing cabinet. I have headphones on and I’m listening to music and surfing the internet for information on the insular cortex. I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up to see my manager standing over me. Expecting to be told to look a little more professional, I take off my headphones and sit up. But instead he tells me he’s leaving early and everyone can go home whenever they want. To my credit, I actually stayed for a little bit to get a head start on a project, but I did leave early because I wanted to get to the store before it closed so I could order something special. After getting a little advice on color from the nice lady behind the counter, I bought a Metallic Chrome Kitchenaid Tilt-Head Stand Up Mixer. It’s something I’ve wanted, literally, for at least 5 or 6 years. It should be delivered later this week and I can’t wait. I’m going to mix the hell out of my ingredients. I have this kick ass Chocolate Irish Crème cake recipe that calls for a box of instant chocolate pudding. Hand mixing the lumps out of that kills me every time because of how thick it gets, but those days are about to be over. And the dough hook, forget about it. Cheddar jalapeño focaccia bread for everyone! Almond and walnut braids all around. I just wish I had known about color schemes like this when I ordered. Then I could really be mixing in style.

Posted by Johnny Rockstar at 11:13 AM | | Comments (0)